Thursday, November 26, 2009

SkyMall Follies: DIY traction. Please no auto-erotic asphyxiation jokes

The NeckPro Traction Device
This is the second in my series of SkyMall Follies posts. A look at the best and worst from the mile high catalogue of fun, games and madness that is the SkyMall.

Last time it was WWII Chess set. This time we have the "NeckPro Traction Device" ($50.95). A picture is supposed to tell a thousand words. But in the case on the NeckPro its promotional picture tells just 16 words - "Don't try this at home unless under the supervision of a trained bondage and discipline professional".

Targeted at both the do it yourself uninsured health care fool and the I want to live and die like David Carradine manic, this product contains a head noose/cradle/support that is attached to a pulley like structure which in turn can be affixed to a door. Yes- I could use those exact same words to describe a hangman's noose. Because that is exactly what it is except without the eye-holes, trapdoor and a series of drummer boys tapping out a death march costs extra.

Sexual and capital punishment innuendoes aside, if you suffered from chronic neck or back pain, then surely the last thing you would want to do is self medicate while wearing khakis and loafers.

Welcome to the Folly Files NeckPro. May the actor who posed for the photo in this advert one day be able to hang his head in shame.


Mark Jones said...

On the same theme of slightly ill thought out medical devices/aids, what about the folding walking stick. Apart from the fact that it folds - not something that I would want in a walking stick - it actually comes with a thread to attach a camera so it doubles as a "convenient monopod".
I can just see it now, some poor old guy on the top of the Grand Canyon, limping and standing on one leg (because he's using his walking stick as a "convenient monopod") - I'd love to see the pictures taken by that camera...

Tim Hughes said...

@Mark - love it

Penny Arabiata said...

UA should seriously be nomiated for best seatback IFE at the next Skytrax awards.

The Skymall catalogue is conveniently located in the seat pocket and is guaranteed to keep passengers entertained right across the Pacific.

PLUS, you get to take it with you at the other end.

Try doing that with those new-fangled touchscreen seatback entertainment units on other airlines flying that route.

My personal fave Skymall travel product is the Skyrest Travel convenient:

Tim Hughes said...

@Penny - the pillow is another piece of skymall genius. Clearly that "Actor" in the photo is not faking being asleep. He actually passed out half way through trying to blow up the pillow

Penny Arabiata said...

I've always found that the only downside is during the meal service...what to do with the bloody thing.

Have worked out it doubles as a handy foot rest for folk with short legs like me.

steve sherlock said...

this device would have come in handy on a recent air asia x flight (mel-kul) given the seats didn't recline, nada, nix, not at all.

putting my head in a noose would have been ideal support while trying to sleep.

actually tim on that flight i thought about you (not in that way ;-) but in a seat review way and wondered how you would have review this seat.

my review went like: tight but acceptable provided you've been working out and watching calories.

Tim Hughes said...

@steve - am enjoying daydreaming about what an AirAsia SkyMall would look like. Imagining what sort of knick-knacks, gizmos and curios Fernades inc would come up with to sell to cramped but excited passengers. Might have to run a comp on the BOOT. What would Tony build?

Penny Arabiata said...

Oh, to be a fly on the wall in Skymall's R&D department?

Carl Jackson said...

It's definitely my favourite inflight reading and apart from the brilliant YellowStone Documentary was the only redeeming feature of a recent long haul flight.

It's the J. Peterman Catalogue for the EveryMan.

I wonder if they have an affiliate program and a data feed?

Tim Hughes said...

@carl - could you imagine the fun we could have with an open API feed of SkyMall content

Carl said...

Haha, yes would be brilliant!