Saturday, April 30, 2011

How is the Qantas frequent flyer program like an angry Russian Model

After ten years I have lost platinum status with Qantas. I fell about 8% short of the status credit target so find myself in the unexpected position of carrying a gold rather than platinum frequent flyer card on my many travels. Time away from the black card has allowed me to reflect on what I am missing and the value of platinum membership. I have decided that losing platinum status is like breaking up with a gorgeous but temperamental eastern European super model. They looked beautiful, your friends were impressed and the promise for excitement was high. But in reality you were treated really badly, the private times never matched the public promise and all that sticks in your mind long after the relationship is over is how often you fought over the stupid things they did but refused to apologize for.

So farewell Qantas Platinum/Ivanka. In my dark moments I miss you and wish I was still part of in crowd that gravitated around you. But without you my life has less missed expectations and fights on the side of the friends say I am better off.

Thanks to teelwan via flickr for the photo


Anonymous said...

Tim, that's such a fun metaphor for it all. And spot on! Read, funnily enough, while poring over an excel spreadsheet of "future trips and SCs required" to track my own continuation (or demise) of Platinum. Ah, the allure & the promises...

Tim Hughes said...

@Anon - thanks - I had fun writing it. The stress of SC tracking is exactly like the stress of "when will she call, why hasn't she called, should I call her, no...that will look desperate, but maybe I'll call me...ah dammit..why wont she call"

Ivanka said...

hello Victor (your nickname) its me Ivanka.

I was waiting and waiting for you to call (treating you mean to keep you keen), i really hoped you would call but you haven't. Then i saw this post.

We/I want you back. I miss our fights/flights. We made a miscalculation around your small margin.... Its actually only 2% which is within our 2.5% tolerance level.

We want to continue the love affair with you and welcome you back into the inner Platinum circle. "velcome back Victor".

Darling the only think you have to do is retract this posting of our dirty linen, and you can jump back into bed with me/us.

will you do it darling?

Tim Hughes said...

Dear Ivanka

I dont need you any more. I've moved on. Sure I miss the french champagne, breezing past the velvet rope and your amazing smile. But I am better off without you. I am me again, happy. I dont need you.


PS - call me! When I can see you again!

Ivanka said...

ooh Victor - it feel like a dagger slicing through the love fibres of my broken heart :-(

Despite my immense sadness I do respect your integrity and unwillingness to compromise yourself for the sake of just a few menial benefits.

For all those time we/I didn't treat you as well as we should have, I'd like to apologise for being arrogant and inconsiderate.

I know coming from me, it might be hard to believe that I mean it, but I sincerely do.

Please don't torment me with your ps taunts, it only prolongs the pain of your loss even more difficult to live with.

au revoir ma chérie


Tim Hughes said...

Leave me alone! I dont need you any more!

(call me)

Bruce Sweigert said...

Yes, it is very heart-wrenching to loose it, but yes after its all over you realized that its actually not that great, and if it does not come naturally to you, its not worth the trouble trying to make it happen.

Terra said...

Awww, Tim! Glad you got over it but yeah, it should be a bummer. Your conversation with Ivanka is funny! LOL.